January - Michael Jackson will become the spokesperson for the Milton Bradley game Operation.
February - Angelina Jolie will announce to the world that she is the valentine for every heterosexual man on the planet.
The sale of Kleenex skyrockets
March - Scientists in India will find the cure for the common cold, they’ll call it "Cy-N-ide".
April - It finally happens; Motorcyclists get their own traffic lane (I did that one for myself).
May - That singing frog from the Warner Brothers Cartoon, Michigan J. Frog, wins American Idol.
June - George Bush declares that the United States has never done anything bad to anyone ever.
July - America will shutdown for a week because there will be nothing to buy after a massive earthquake crumbles Chinese factories.
August - Computers around the globe will finally start a defense against users with the pop up warning “STOP CLICKING ALREADY!”
September - Gold will be found in my back yard and I’ll become rich, Rich, RICH!!! Hahahahaha.
October - All of the money meant for the V.A. Hospitals is given to corporations. Wait, sorry that was LAST year.
November - Survivor America - Presidential Showdown.
by Zach Trenholm
December - Osama Bin Laden found dead after taking cold medication.
Happy New Year!
